1. [F]air is fair. If I nail Hotlips, and punch Hawkeye, can I go home? – Capt. Duke Forrest.
2. This isn’t a hospital, it’s an insane asylum! – Maj. Margaret Houlihan
3. No, no, no! No food, no food. Bring me sex, I want sex, bring me some sex! No, no, no! That one. Being me that one, over there. That one, the sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes! Take her clothes off, take her clothes off, and bring her to me! – Capt. Trapper John McIntyre
4. I wonder how a degenerated person like that could have reached a position of responsibility in the Army Medical Corps? – Maj. Margaret Houlihan
He was drafted! – Father Mulcahy
5. Watch out for you goodies, Hawkeye. That man is a sex maniac, I don’t think Hotlips satisfied him. Don’t let him kiss you, Hawkeye.
6. I’ll bet she’s not a real blond. – Capt. Forrest
How dare you say that about an officer of the United States Army, sir. – Capt. Pierce
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